The Parents v. Players Soccer Showdown: "Somebody Get Me Out of This Goal!”
Updated: Aug 11
“Somebody get me out of this goal! I like my teeth!” I yelled with bare feet from inside a soccer goal.
It was Friday night, and my sister and her boyfriend had come with Matt and me to watch my twin bonus daughters play a little scrimmage soccer game.
About 20 minutes into the practice, Coach Joe marched over to the parents and told us to “start stretching” for our game against the girls.
“Is he joking?” I whispered to Matt.
“Wait, are you serious!?” yelled my excited sister, Sarah.
“No one told me about this!” I thought to myself. “What in the world? It’s SO hot!”
Coach Joe was not joking!
Ill-prepared, Matt and I kicked off our flip flops and took to the field. Sarah and her boyfriend, Joe, got lucky with tennis shoes.
The girls are twin 11-year-olds. They play on a select travel soccer team. We’re not talking rec league soccer, y’all.
“They’re going to KILL us” I thought to myself as I glanced down at my bare feet.
Before I could think much more, the ball was in action!
I’m proud to say I think we surprised the girls with our efforts.
“They’re so FAST!” shouted one of the girls.
“Their legs are much longer than ours, you know!” responded another.
Unfortunately, us adults did so good that the “just 20 minutes” Coach Joe promised turned into the remaining 40 minutes of practice! Talk about a workout!
The girls scored 1 goal on us in the first 5 minutes, but we held them at 1-0 for the next 20.
At one point, I found myself… you guessed it… in the GOAL. You know, the place where the soccer ball comes hurling towards the fearless person standing guard inside? HA!
“Get me out of this goal! I like my teeth!” I screamed!
Too late! One of the girls came bounding towards me with the ball…
Miraculously, I managed to block 4 balls before letting one sail by me into the goal.
Us old folks finally tired out. The girls scored another 3 goals, bringing the final score to:
Before it was all said and done, I’d hit the ground 3 times, had my bare feet trampled, and even had a bloody cut on my finger! I was drenched in sweat, but man, that sure was fun!
Playing in the soccer game was not something we had planned that Friday night… and it’s probably not something we would have picked if we’d really had a choice.
But it didn’t turn out as bad as we had expected, and we actually had some fun making memories with the girls.
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Lauren A. Merritt, P.A.
111 S. De Villiers Street, Ste. B
Pensacola, FL 32502